How to share your deepest needs-
with anyone!
The OREO Technique
Yup- this technique will both make you salivate and encourage you to have a great conversation!
(By the way, what flavor of OREO is your favorite? Make a note in the comments below. I still am awestruck that there are over 85+ flavors of these delightful treats.)
FIRST
Genuinely and authentically compliment the person, sharing what you appreciate about them.
THEN
Share what you need- keep this to one focused thing only.
FINALLY
Express what you hope to see happen with the both of you, your relationship, and directly regarding meeting this need.
And as our dear friend says about how he likes to operate his car dealership, be sure to stay with the three C’s- be clear, concise and c(q)uick!!
Here’s an example of the dishes being in the sink and not the dishwasher.
EXAMPLE
I am thankful for the time you spend playing with the kids on the floor when you get home from work. You are such a great father and supportive partner. I notice I get upset when I see the dishes in the sink and I really need the dishes to go directly into the dishwasher, not the sink. I am hopeful this causes us to have a better evening as a family and relieves us from the burden of having to take time to do the dishes later.
Please note, this example uses even more detail than what is needed in the OREO technique for through understanding of how to get through the specific aspects of being authentic, encouraging, and supportive.
The most important component of the technique is your authenticity and to ask yourself if you have an “edge” to the technique. If so, you must be introspective in asking yourself if you are using the technique to have resolution to an issue (marital, friendship, extended family, work relationship) or to be manipulative. If it’s the latter, do not use the technique, as it will only weaken your relationship further. Seek counseling to dig up why you are needing to coerce someone and start living more authentically…
<3
Megs